i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
