her vagine was all disorganized.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
