So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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