and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
