he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
