Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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