It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
