His pubic hair was longer than his dick
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
