hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
