If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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