Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
