You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
