Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it hurts more in the daytime
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
