You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
