ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
