And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
