I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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