you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it's like iHOP with fire
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
