Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
