I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
