Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're completely useless in the revolution.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
