So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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