im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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