Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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