You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
