I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
