How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
