Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
