he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
