I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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