i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
NoShamevember. You game?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
