I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
