and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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