fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
