So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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