After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
