What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
