If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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