please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
