you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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