My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
