Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
