I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
