So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
