She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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