We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
