so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
