You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
In America we eat man semen.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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