She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
