Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
