i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You need Xanax blowdarts
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
